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All posts for the month August, 2009

I was just musing over this last night as I erased a SPAM message from my Yahoo account.  It was one of those garden variety ones that we all get…rich relative (usually in Africa) has died, you’re the only one mentioned in the will, there’s $XX.X million waiting, all you have to do is send your name, social security number, bank account number, current phone number, address and the last time you had sex to blahblah address and before you know it, a pre-loaded VISA card will be on it’s way to you, you lucky bastard (lol)!

Got to thinking about it.  I get maybe about two of these a day; so by that logic, spread that out over a year period, and 730 relatives of mine die yearly…usually tragically, in a car crash, oil derrick explosion…what have you.  Then throw in the money I’m missing out on by not responding…these mails usually claim between $1.5 and $15.5 million…so, I figure a good average would be $8 million.  Multiply that by 730, and…

EEP.

That’s some SERIOUS money, yo and fo shizzle!

Maybe I need to stop erasing that shit.  Maybe…just MAYBE these things are for true…and I’m throwing good money away!  Maybe I could become a billionare…who knows, maybe I AM related to almost 800 people who die tragically every year…I need to start responding to these things and…

Psyche.  Me am not THAT stoopid.  😉

Stacie pic uploaded to make up for you having to read that crap.  Later!  Tolstoy

Stacie Snow in TIGHT Bondage

EDIT:  Here’s the latest one…just had another relative drop dead:

FROM THE DESK OF (edited)
DEAR FRIEND,

ASSALAM-ALYKUM.

MEANWHILE,I WAS VERY FORTUNATE TO COME ACCROSS THE DECEASED FILE WHEN I WAS ARRANGING THE OLD AND ABANDONED CUSTOMERS FILE IN OTHER TO SIGN AND SUBMIT TO THE ENTIRE BANK MANAGEMENT FOR AN OFFICIAL RE DOCUMENTATION AND AUDIT OF THE YEAR AGAINST 2009.  I PRESUMED THAT ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE A SURPRISED MESSAGE TO YOU BECAUSE I GOT YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNATIONAL DIRECTORY FEW WEEKS AGO BEFORE I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON THIS MAGNITUDE AND LUCRATIVE TRANSACTION FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SURVIVAL IN LIFE. MOREOVER,I HAVE LAID ALL THE SOLEMN TRUST IN YOU BEFORE I DECIDED TO DISCLOSE THIS SUCCSSFUL AND CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION TO YOU.

I AM THE SENIOR AUDITOR INCHARGE OF FORIEGN REMITTANCE UNIT OF OUR BANK AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU FOR THIS FINANCIAL TRANSACTION WORTH FOURTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS (14.5M) FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SUCCESS. THIS ISAN ABANDONED FUND THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR BANK FORIEGN CUSTOMERS WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY THROUGH PLANE CRASH FEW YEARS AGO.

INFORMED CLEARLY THAT IT WAS STATED IN OUR FORIEGN BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS WHICH WAS SIGNED LAWFULLY THAT IF SUCH FUND REMAINS UNCLAIMED TILL THE PERIOD OF FOUR YEARS STARTED FROM THE DATE THE BENEFICIARY DIED, THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO THE TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUNDHOWEVER, IT IS NOT AUTHORIZES BY THE RULES GUIDING OUR BANK FOR A CITIZEN OF BURKINA FASO TO MAKE THE CLAIM OF THE FUND UNLESS YOU ARE A FORIEGNER NO MATTER THE COUNTRY.

SO THE REQUEST OF YOU AS A FORIEGNER IS NECESSARY TO APPLY FOR THE CLAIM AND TRANSFER OF THE FUND SMOOTHLY INTO YOUR RELIABLE BANK ACCOUNT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED.WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT 35% WILL BE FOR YOU IN RESPECT OF ALL YOUR ASSISTANCE FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AND PROVISION OF THE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THE BANK WILL REMIT THE FUND, 60% WILL BE FOR ME BEING THE PIONEER OF THE BUSINESS WHILE THE REST 5% WILL BE SHARED TO RESPECTABLE ORGANISATIONS SUCH AS CHARITY AND THE DESTITUDES HOMES ARROUND US IN THE WORLD.

IF YOU ARE REALLY SURE OF YOUR TRUSTWORTHINESS,ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY ON THIS TRANSACTION, CONTACT ME AND ACCEPT NOT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND TO CHEAT OR DISAPPOINT ME WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT  SO REPLY FOR THE ASSURANCE WITH YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO FACILITATE EASY COMMUNICATION. AS SOON AS YOU REPLY, YOU NOTIFY ME SO THAT I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE NEXT STEP AND PROCEDURE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO FINALIZE THIS TRANSACTION SUCCESSFULLY. 

I EXPECT YOUR URGENT COMMUNICATION.

YOURS SINCERELY,
(edited)

How STUPID do these fuckers think we ARE, anyways?!

Ah, I LOVE my new computer!!  Vista, on-board card reader, 6 Gb of memory, Pentium Processor…and a BLAZING fast fucker to boot!  Should’a fried my hard drive a long time ago…lol.

It’s an ASUS…new brand to me, but my “sister”, former model Angel, who’s a computer genius, tells me I did good in getting it.  Not a very “bondage-y” wallpaper just yet…still getting used to having it and taking in the “new car smell”…lol.

That’s a good shot of it…that’s a statue of Marvel Comic’s Thanos bearing the Infinity Gauntlet just under the screen and a “Hot Wheels” replica of the Batmobile from the first “Batman” flick off to the right.  I’m a comic book geek beyond hope. 😉

There’s a close-up of Thanos.  Of all the Marvel villains, I identify with him most.  Grandiose schemer, illusions of grandeur, and in many ways his own worst enemy who’s caused the undoing of his own schemes himself many a time.  Hmmm…wonder what that says about me?  (lol)

And here we have the Green Lantern…the PROPER Green Lantern, Hal Jordan.  This figurine came with the Best-Buy-bought version of the recent DC Comics DVD release of the movie, “First Flight”.  Hal always was my favorite Green Lantern…Guy Gardner and Jon Stewart were just pale comparisons.

I need to get a Spider-Man to balance this all out…I’m a MAJOR Spidey fan, and this desktop now seems almost wrong…lol.

Well, anyway…I need to get to the Sunday chores…trash needs a dumping, clothes need a washing, etc, etc.  Later, kids!!

Tolstoy

I’m gonna be quiet and just put up a few pics.  These are the ones I carry with me regularly on my iPhone…the best of the best.  ENJOY…and for pity’s sake, there’s a ton more of this kind of goodness available at my sites.  Whether it be tokens, membership site, Clips4Sale or what have you…go have a look!  You won’t be sorry!

Tolstoy

CJ Molina

Andrea

Shannon

Pantera Noelle

CJ Molina

Shannon, kidnapped, bound and gagged secretary

Well, I wasn’t gone by choice, unfortunately.

My main computer gave up the ghost, so I found myself stuck on my laptop until the problem could be properly addressed…that happens tomorrow.

I get to go computer shopping tomorrow…YAY!!!  Ah, you can’t IMAGINE how happy I am now that I can FINA-FUCKING-LY get this dealt with.  Funding was a problem (doing a custom helped…please, if you’re interested, now’s the best time!), but now that I have enough spare bucks, I can go and look for a new baby to get online and edit my snaps with.  I’m looking for Vista, with a card reader accessable from the front, DVD capability (the kind that writes on the top of cd’s and dvd’s to mark what they are would be a nice bonus), and a powerful and hopefully fast machine.  Computers are a bit cheaper now (and the fact that I’m only really looking for the tower is a plus), so I’m expecting to find something nice.  Color me happy that I’ve finally passed the last hurdle keeping me away from doing this…and looking forward to going and setting it up tomorrow. 

Snaps when I get it together…

“Tolstoy”

Oh.  My.  FUCKING.  God.

Y’all have NO idea…

I haven’t mentioned too much about myself personally here…well, you’re gonna get a LONG ramble tonight…lmao.    So, OK…I’m an optician at an eyewear store.  Basically, an “optician” helps you choose a frame after you get your prescription from the doc…helps you find a great look, and wades thru the nightmare that is “insurance” (that crap SCARES me…lol).  Today, was the be all, end all.  I barely got out of there alive…I’m still shaking a bit.

It was like a scientific expirement in sensory deprivation.  I was working at the second branch of our store, which is about 16 miles (45 minute drive each way) away from home.  Why?  How the fuck should I know?! (lol)  I just go where they tell me in this “reduce manpower, increase sales” economy.  Anyway, that store is dead…or at least it NEEDS to be.  Barely any customers came in all day.  Worst part was the two employees who normally work the store had the day off (again, don’t bother asking me why this was allowed…I just punch a clock there, tho I’d much rather punch a fucking supervisor…lol), so I was COMPLETELY ALONE ALL DAY!!!  9 hours of complete and total aloneness.  Just me, about a thousand pairs of eyeglasses, and 4 walls.

My skin began to crawl.

My eyes began to ache.

My heart yearned for a cardiac arrest.

Heck, I could’ve even dealt with a “bitch from hell” kind of customer yelling at me for no good reason (lol)…at least I’d have some company!!

The part that really ticked me off is that I was supposed to have some help.  Wouldn’t have needed it for customer relations, but it sure would’ve cut thru the boredom.  The gal I was supposed to work with is a sweet and very attractive 20-something.  Mind you, there’s no way in HELL I’d be able to invite her to pose for TucsonTied (if the subject matter offended her, she could easily have me fired), but she’s a sweet kid and I was looking forward to hanging out with her.  But nooooooooooooo…Tony doesn’t need any help running the store…and it’s not even MY FUCKING STORE!!! 

I don’t get it. 

I mean…when the UPS guy looks like a good conversation in the making, you KNOW you’re in trouble (lol)!!  I just don’t understand why this outfit allows both of the actual exployed members of this branch to be away from the building at the same time and expects us to clean up the wreckage and wet nurse their store for them. 

So…I tried to amuse myself all day with my iPhone (thank GOD I had that with me!) and maybe download a free app or two…but as it turned out, I had just changed my debit card, and I needed to update the information in my phone.  The only way I could do that…WAS TO BE AT HOME ON MY PC THERE!!!!  Mother fucker and a changed biscuit already…was somebody punching holes on a “Tony Voodoo Doll” with 9 mm hole punches?!

Breathe, Tony…BREATHE.  Ok…better now.  😉

The rest of the day went ok, I guess…fought rush hour traffic home and now I sit in front of my laptop after fixing the iPhone problem.  I downloaded a SWEET app called, “iGunPro” which gives you an AK-47, M-16, and a silenced MP5…unlimited ammo, and full automatic firing.  LMAO…I put up the AK , pushed the screen where the trigger was, imagined myself as Al Pacino, and just LET RIGHT THE FUCK LOOSE!

Ah.  Simulated violence against clear air.  Relaxed now.  😀 

We now return you to your regular bondage blog.  

“Tolstoy”

Just finished downloading my first ever custom shoot to dvd.  That was WORK…but a labor of love.

Man, the things that happen sometimes…  During the shooting of the work, my camera decided to reject my cassettes, calling for about 3 false starts and stops.  CRAZY!!  The good thing about it is I found a major flaw in said camera and was able to correct it with no problems.

Check it:  Shoot date was the 7th, mail out time is the 10th…a three day turnaround.  Pretty good for the first time out, I’d say!

Just for the sake of saying it, I am available for custom shoots with models that I have available in the area.  Check this page for more details:

Available For Custom Shoots

Exhausted,

Tolstoy

We just got a spam phone call at my regular work that got me to thinking…

It was about tons of grant money thats available to small businesses. Like I said it got me thinking…can I get a grant towards the continued running of TucsonTied? Its KINDA a small business, right?

No? Pipe dream, you say? Dang it.

😉

Tolstoy